Nobody Does it Better
by LovesItxoxo
Summary: DISCONTINUED. Post 1.15 "DSS" Dan and Serena are broken up and Blair tries to get them back together. Along the way, Blair and Chuck are forced to interact, which leads to them revealing that they might not be as over each other as they wanted to believe. Chuck/Blair Dan/Serena
1. An Eye for an Eye

**AN: Sadly, I own nothing. Spoiler-free. **

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**Chapter 1: An Eye for an Eye**

"Blair, that was fast." Lily van der Woodsen, soon to be Bass, said as the elevator door opened to reveal a disheveled looking Blair Waldorf.

"I came as soon as you called. She's in her room, I assume." Blair said as she shrugged off her light jacket and handed a large brown bag to the maid.

"It's ice cream so it needs to go into the freezer." She explained as she walked up the stairs to Serena's new bedroom in the van der Woodsen-Bass penthouse.

Blair knocked gently on Serena's door, not wanting to frighten her friend.

After a moment Serena sobbed "Come in."

Blair gasped as she opened the door and saw Serena curled into a ball on her lavish bed. Her face was red and tear stained, her hair was a mess, and her clothes looked like they hadn't been changed in days. Blair walked over with her arms wide open and Serena ran into them.

"It's okay, sweetie. It's going to be okay." Blair cooed over and over as she stroked Serena's hair.

Serena sobbed as Blair repeated her mantra, nodding in agreement, though not believing it. Dan was her world. She loved him. He was her first love and she was sure that he would be her only love.

Blair was furious, though she wouldn't show it. How dare that Daniel Humphrey break up with Serena! Who the fuck did he think he was? So she had strayed from her good-girl image, so what? How could he turn his back on her just like that? It was at that precise moment that Blair decided that she hated all men.

Finally, after what seemed like eternity, Serena's tears stopped and she pulled out of Blair's embrace. She shook her head, gave a small smile, and walked to her door.

"Let's go eat, I'm starving." Serena breathed.

"Well it's about time! I thought I was going to pass out. I haven't eaten all day." Blair said with a grin, which Serena returned.

Blair was happy that for the time being, Serena could pull herself together. She would make sure that tonight would be filled with laughing, all of their favorite movies, and cartons of ice cream.

When the two girls returned to the dining room, the main course was being served. At the two heads of the long mahogany table sat Lily and Bart. On one side, Chuck and Eric were deep in conversation and on the other, two place settings were set.

Everyone briefly exchanged pleasantries as Serena slid into the chair across from Eric and Blair hesitantly slid into the chair directly across from Chuck. Under normal circumstances Blair would have made Serena switch seats with her, as she and Chuck were still not speaking, but tonight, Blair decided to suck it up for her friend.

Lily smiled at Blair and Serena and nodded discreetly at Blair. Blair winked at her.

Lily had called Blair earlier, frantic because Serena had not left her room all day. She wouldn't talk to anyone and she refused to eat. Out of sheer desperation she turned to her daughter's best friend in the hopes that she would be able to get through to Serena. She was thrilled to see that Blair had.

The servants quickly brought out food for Serena and Blair and everyone began to eat the filet mignon in silence. Finally, the silence becoming too much, Blair decided to take matters into her own hands.

"So this," Blair began, pointing to her dress, an Eleanor Original, "has officially become the world's most expensive handkerchief." Blair finished.

Everyone except for Bart laughed.

"Sorry." Serena muttered.

"Oh it's okay. I'll just send the dry cleaning bill to Mr. Bass." Blair said with a mischievous grin, looking over to Bart.

Everyone froze and wondered what would happen. Nobody spoke to Bart Bass that way. Usually, Blair would never do such a thing but tonight, she would do whatever it took to keep Serena smiling and to keep her mind away from a certain Brooklyn-ite.

Suddenly, without warning, Bart let out a hearty chuckle. Serena, Eric, and Blair looked shocked that Bart was not offended and was actually capable of laughing. Chuck looked supremely hurt.

"Quiet the sense of humor you've got there, Miss Waldorf." Bart said as he shook his head in amusement.

"Thank you, Mr. Bass." Blair said shyly and shared a disbelieving look with Serena.

After a long pause, Blair continued.

"The one good thing that came from this is now I can finally get my revenge on that back-stabbing little home wrecker." Blair said with a smirk.

"Blair, Jenny has suffered enough as it is. You've already thoroughly embarrassed her and are _again_ at the top of the social ladder. Do you really need to kick her when she's down?" Serena sighed in exasperation.

"Serena, Serena, Serena, my pretty blonde friend. You have so much to learn. Young Jennifer deserves to be destroyed. I held back out of respect to you, but now…" Blair trailed off.

She didn't want to say that now that Serena and Dan were broken up she could seek her revenge because that would defeat the whole purpose of tonight. But if she just alluded to the fact that Serena and Dan were no longer together and made it seem like that was a good thing, Serena might come to believe it too.

"What are you going to do to her?" Serena sighed.

Blair's smirk only grew. Eric observed the ongoing conversation in amusement and Chuck pretended not to care, though he was hanging onto Blair's every word. Bart and Lily seemed not to pay attention.

"You mean what _did_ I do to her." Blair asked.

"Tell us." Eric demanded, unable to hide the excitement in his voice.

"No, I don't think I will. But don't worry, you'll all know soon enough." Blair said smugly.

"Why do you feel the need to get revenge? Can't you just forgive and forget?" Serena asked.

"Serena, have you ever heard the saying 'Eye for eye, tooth for tooth, hand for hand, foot for foot, burning for burning, wound for wound, stripe for stripe?'" Blair asked.

"I've heard 'An eye for an eye.'" Serena answered.

"Well do you know where the saying comes from?" Blair asked with a grin.

"No." Serena said and rolled her eyes. Blair ignored her.

"It comes from the Old Testament. Exodus 21:24." Blair explained with her grin still in place.

"Do you know what it means?" Blair continued.

"Why don't you enlighten us?" Serena bit out with sarcasm.

"It means that God says it's okay to get revenge on the people who have wronged you. In fact, he commands it. All my years of holding grudges, plotting to destroy people, avenging people who hurt me and I never knew that I was doing exactly what God wanted me to do." Blair said triumphantly and took a large bite of beef.

"Tastes good." Blair whispered.

Serena shook her head but couldn't help but smile. Blair knew how to manipulate any situation to her advantage.

"Since when do you read the bible?" Eric asked.

"Since I started going to church to repent for my sins." Blair responded.

"The preacher I confess to told me that I might be interested in checking it out, and he was right." She finished.

"Blair, what Jenny did was wrong but she did it because Nate's her friend and she wanted to do the right thing." Serena tried to explain to Blair.

"You are so naïve sometimes. Jenny did not do what she did to help Nate. She used stolen, privileged information, information that was _none _of her damn business to further her social status and to spite me because I was mean to her." Blair said in a mocking tone.

"Don't you think that Nate had a right to know?" Serena asked.

Blair and Chuck starred at her incredulously. Eric just sat in confusion.

"Nate is a pretty boy. There's no need to fill his head with unpleasant images." Blair said coldly and glanced briefly at Chuck.

"And need I remind you Serena that Jenny did not help Nate, she hurt him. _And_ she ruined three lifelong friendships in the process." Blair said a bit angrily. She didn't appreciate Serena defending Jenny.

"Blair, don't be unreasonable. Jenny may have spilled the beans but the only people to blame are you and Ch-" She was interrupted by Chuck's loud voice.

"That's enough." He said darkly.

Blair was shocked. Why would Chuck _defend_ her? She gave Serena a questioning look and Serena shrugged.

"On a lighter note," Blair said, changing the subject, "what movie will it be? 'Mean Girls,' 'Cruel Intentions,' or 'Breakfast at Tiffany's?'" Blair asked.

"I say 'Cruel Intentions.' There's nothing like a little Ryan Phillippe to cheer a girl up." Serena said brightly.

"I couldn't agree more." Blair said with a smile.

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**Gossip Girl here, your one and only source into the scandalous lives of Manhattan's elite. Love is hard to come by in the UES, as our friends B and S have learned. Now that S is heart-broken B is there to pick up the pieces. Unfortunately for her, S is living with the Devil Incarnate. Nothing good can come of a C/B meeting. People will perish. Innocents will get caught in the cross fire. Oh how I wish I could be there. You know you love me. Xoxo, Gossip Girl.**

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"Eye for eye, tooth for tooth, hand for hand, foot for foot, burning for burning, wound for wound, stripe for stripe?" - Old Testament, Exodus 21:24

"Tastes Good." - Cruel Intentions (Movie)

Title: 'Nobody Does it Better' is the title of one of the books in the GG series


	2. It Ends Tonight

**AN: Sadly, I own nothing. Spoiler-free. **

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**Chapter 2: It Ends Tonight**

"Okay, so after dinner, we'll watch 'Cruel Intentions,' gorge ourselves on ice cream and forget all about you know who. And then tomorrow, we are going on a major shopping spree, so bring your favorite credit card." Blair said.

"B, I don't know if I'll be in the mood to go shopping." Serena whined.

"Nonsense, there's an old saying: spending tens of thousands of dollars on things you don't really need is the perfect cure for a broken heart." Blair said.

"That's an old saying?" Serena said.

"I've been saying it for years." Blair said with a smirk.

Serena rolled her eyes at her friend. Blair just wore a self-satisfied grin. Serena was smiling and laughing and seemed genuinely, well not happy, but definitely not as depressed as she was before. Mission accomplished.

"You are so full of shit sometimes." Serena said and laughed.

Blair held her hands to her chest, where her heart would be.

"Your words hurt, you know." Blair said feigning insult.

"Yes, I can see that you're devastated." Serena agreed scathingly.

"You know van der Woodsen; your sarcasm is not appreciated." Blair said.

"What, only you're allowed to be sarcastic?" Serena asked.

"I'm a brunette, I can pull it off. When blondes try to be sarcastic it's just pathetic." Blair said in exasperation.

"Where do you get this stuff from?" Serena asked.

"I make it up, mostly." Blair said with a shoulder shrug.

"Nice. Very nice." Serena said.

"Thank you." Blair said smugly.

The servants entered the room, clearing away the table and bringing out dessert, crème brûlée. Everybody dug in and silence engulfed the table once more.

Just as Serena and Blair were finishing eating and were about to leave, Bart turned to them.

"If you would like, you may use the in-house theater, on the eighth floor." Bart said.

Both girls gave him a confused look.

"For the movie you were planning on watching. I'll call down and make sure that it's empty." Bart clarified.

"Thank you." Blair and Serena said and the same time. Bart just nodded.

* * *

"So does your mom have Bart medicated or something?" Blair asked from her spot on a plush leather seat as the movie began to play on the large screen that covered the entire wall.

Apparently, Bart Bass believed that his hotels should be equipped with any amenity possible, and that included a movie theater complete with a full-stocked snack bar. Not that either girl was going to complain about it.

"I don't know. But ever since we moved in he's been trying to act all nice and caring. It really freaks me out." Serena said.

"Uh yeah!" Blair exclaimed. Both girls chuckled.

The girls then faced the screen and watched the gorgeous, rich, manipulative Sebastian have a "heart-to-heart" with his therapist.

As the movie progressed, Blair Waldorf realized something; she was an idiot. How she couldn't see this before amazed her. Chuck Bass was Sebastian Valmont. End of story.

Except, he wasn't. Because Sebastian loved Annette and Chuck certainly didn't love anyone other than himself. And for some reason, that pissed Blair off. Chuck didn't love her and he probably didn't even _like_ her. He had probably just said that to get her into bed. She was such an idiot!

She was just a toy to him. A little toy that he liked to play with. A toy that he had unceremoniously discarded when it would no longer do what he said.

"Blair?" Serena asked.

"Blair?" Serena asked again after Blair didn't respond.

Blair finally looked up at Serena, wondering why she looked so blurry. Then she realized that she had tears in her eyes.

"B, are you okay?" Serena asked.

Blair wiped the tears off her cheeks and plastered a smile on her face.

"I'm fine. This movie always makes me cry." Blair said as nonchalantly as possible.

"You sure?" Serena pushed.

"Positive. What about you?" Blair answered, remembering that her best friend needed her to be strong right now.

Serena gave a bitter laugh.

"I've been better." Serena said as tears streamed down her face as well.

Then Blair burst into a fit of giggles. She couldn't stop, couldn't control herself. And more tears poured from her eyes. And soon enough, Serena was caught in her own fit of laughter and crying.

"We are so pathetic." Blair breathed, wiping furiously at her eyes, her tears unrelenting.

"Yeah we are." Serena agreed and they both cried some more.

"So, back to Nate for just one more second…" Serena began after her tears subsided a little.

"Ugh, S, do we really have to do this now?" Blair sighed.

"Blair, I am very upset right now over my break up with Dan and talking about this will definitely cheer me up." Serena said innocently. Blair glared at her.

"You seriously need to learn how to lie better." Blair said after a moment.

Serena just ignored her.

"Honestly B, if Jenny didn't tell him, would you have ever told him the truth?" Serena asked.

"Of course I would have told him Serena. It's just, with these things you have to find the opportune moment…and that's what death beds are for." Blair said.

"You are ridiculous." Serena said.

"You know you love me." Blair said and turned her head back to watch the movie, a smirk playing across her lips.

* * *

"Fate has me highly skilled and loaded with talent." Chuck boasted to Eric as his team scored yet another touchdown.

The two boys had retreated to Chuck's room after dinner had ended to play an intense game of Madden NFL 09 on Chuck's xbox 360. The game was already halfway through the second quarter and things were not looking good for Eric.

Eric growled in frustration. Chuck just laughed.

"Don't feel too bad, little bro, you're a hell of a lot better than Nate ever was." Chuck said.

Ever since Gossip Girl had informed the world, or at least the Upper East Side, of Chuck and Blair's affair, Nate had refused to speak to Chuck. And Chuck, having no other real friends besides Nate, had turned to Eric for companionship.

Eric was grateful that he and Chuck had bonded so well. He had never had many real friends himself. Chuck was a big brother, a mentor, and a best friend all rolled into one. He never babied Eric like Serena or his mother or anyone else did. And most importantly, Chuck treated him with respect.

However, Eric did not like the fact that Chuck was kicking his ass in virtual football for the millionth time that week. The guy was just too damn good and Eric was getting sick of it.

Suddenly a very Chuck-like smirk spread across Eric's face. He had not missed the fact that some very heated glances were transpiring between Blair and Chuck; you would have to be deaf, dumb, and blind not to see it. An idea formulated in his mind.

"So, Blair was looking pretty hot tonight, wasn't she?" Eric asked smoothly.

Chuck said nothing, however, his jaw was clenched and his player dropped the ball he was holding. Eric smiled at the satisfactory response he got from Chuck and decided to see how far he could push him.

"I mean, I know she's my sister's best friend and all, and she's always been like a sister to me, but I would totally tap that." Eric said.

Chuck's hands turned into fists but he again said nothing. Eric's team was close to the end zone and he decided to go for the kill.

"Of course we all know that she is still madly in love with Nate but maybe she'll give me a chance. She does seem to have a thing for blondes, doesn't she?" Eric asked.

Eric's team scored a touch down and Chuck threw his controller at the wall with too much force to simply be angry about the game.

Eric smiled and wondered what else Chuck would do when he brought up Blair. This would definitely make for an interesting night of videogames.

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**Spotted: B and S pigging out on pints of Ben and Jerry's in The Palace's massive private theater watching "Cruel Intentions." I have to say, that movie is the epitome of the UES; sex, drugs, destroying reputations, lust, love, I could go on but you all know how it is. **

**C and E partaking in some bonding of their own. The two were playing xbox for four hours straight. Word has it E brought up a certain brunette Queen and C freaked. Hmm, what could this mean? You'll know as soon as I do. You know you love me. Xoxo, Gossip Girl. **

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"That's an old saying?"

"I've been saying it for years." – Monk (TV Show)

"…and that's what death beds are for." – Friends (TV Show)

"Fate has me highly skilled and loaded with talent." – The Break-Up (Movie)


	3. Wake Up Call

**AN: Sadly, I own nothing. Spoiler-free. **

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**Chapter 3: Wake Up Call**

Blair slowly walked into the kitchen, trying to make nary a sound. She didn't want to wake anyone up as it was only 6 in the morning, but she desperately needed something to drink; she was parched.

She gently opened the kitchen door and to her surprise, found Bart Bass sitting at the table with the _New York Times_ spread out in front of him. At the sound of the door opening he looked up. He attempted to smile at her, but it was hardly noticeable.

"Come in." He ordered and she obeyed.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to intrude; I was just going to get something to drink." Blair hasted to explain.

Bart was an intimidating man and though last night she joked around with him, she had been under the protection of the entire family. Today, it was just the two of them.

"You didn't intrude at all. In fact, I've been meaning to have a word with you." Bart said as Blair found a bottle of water in the refrigerator.

She froze. What would Bart Bass have to say to her? Was he offended by her joke last night? Did he hear about her little sex scandal and want to scold her for it?

Finally, Blair regained control over her motor skills. She jerkily nodded her head and walked to the kitchen table, sitting across from him.

Bart reached into his pocket and for a moment and Blair could not for the life of her figure out what he was doing.

Eventually he found what he was looking for and pulled out three small black boxes. Blair was confused until realization hit; these were wedding bands. Bart Bass was asking her opinion about wedding bands for Lily. The only question was why the hell was he asking _her_?

As if he was reading her mind, and Blair wouldn't be surprised if he was, he began to speak.

"I wanted to get a female's opinion on which would be the most desirable. Chuck and Eric are really no help and I'm sure Serena would tell her mother what the ring looks like. I'd like to keep this a surprise." Bart said as he opened each box and set them out in front of Blair.

Blair gasped in awe. Though they were simple, the rings were beautiful. Chuck obviously got his good taste in jewelry from his father. Bart definitely knew how to buy wedding bands.

Blair smiled and blushed slightly. "I would be honored."

After carefully studying all three rings; the first was yellow gold and engraved with small hearts, the second was white gold with an intricate weaved design, and the third was solid platinum with crushed diamonds; she held up her choice. Naturally, she had chosen the band with the diamonds; she was, after all, Blair Waldorf.

"Yes, that's the one that I liked as well." Bart said and again attempted to smile.

"It's perfect." Blair agreed.

"Now, about you and Charles." Bart continued. Blair nearly spit out the water she had just taken a sip of.

"I know that there was something going on between the two of you." Bart said it, not even bothering to make it sound like a question.

"Yes." Blair whispered in shame.

"And it has ended sourly." He stated.

"Yes." Blair repeated, not daring to look Bart in the eye.

"And this is the reason why he is no longer friends with Mr. Archibald?" Bart asked. Blair nodded yes.

Bart shook his head as well.

"I thought so. You know he hasn't been the same in months." Bart said.

Blair didn't respond. She honestly didn't know how to. She knew that he hadn't been the same in months because he had flip-flopped between being a self-centered pig, to actually being a human being, back to a self-centered pig. But she didn't know _which_ change Bart was referring to.

"Charles, how should I say, has a penchant for spending his time around copious amounts of women and alcohol, as I'm sure you've born witness to." Bart began. He took Blair's silence as a yes.

"However, since he returned from Monaco he has not brought a single woman into the house. Of course I was pleased by this, thinking that he had decided to grow up, but I soon realized that something else had happened." Bart explained.

Blair couldn't take her eyes off of him. She wanted to ask "What?" but she didn't.

"I don't think I have to tell you this, but you're the only woman Charles has ever bought jewelry for." Bart said, waiting for a reaction.

Blair could say nothing; she nodded her head, afraid to hear what was to come yet unable to wait any longer. Bart seemed to be satisfied by this and continued.

"I realized that my son had fallen in love. I could see it in his eyes. And what's more, I could see that he had his heart broken." Bart said, staring at Blair until she returned his gaze.

"My son is who he is. For better or for worse he has taken after me." Bart said with a bitter chuckle.

"Like me, he is often unable to admit when he's wrong. He has a hard time expressing his emotions, mostly affection and remorse, but that doesn't mean that he doesn't feel them." Bart said.

"Now if you'll excuse me I have to get ready for work, but I appreciate your advice. And I hope that you'll consider what I've said." Bart finished and stuck his hand out to Blair. She shook it and smiled weakly at him.

Bart had reached the door when Blair's voice stopped him.

"Thank you, Mr. Bass." Blair said and this time, Bart's smile was clearly visible.

Blair sighed. That had been one of the strangest conversations she had ever had but also one of the most interesting. She got up and walked back to Serena's room in a better mood than she had been in moments ago.

* * *

"Michael, I just want you to know that I love you!" Blair exclaimed to the Bass' personal chef as she inhaled her fifth chocolate chip pancake.

"Thank you." Michael said, unsure of how else to respond.

Chuck and Eric were listening at the door, Chuck's idea of course. They had some interesting news to share with Serena and Blair but Chuck couldn't resist the chance to eavesdrop on the two for a few minutes at least. And out of pity, Eric obliged.

"Seriously. I'm not kidding. I love you! Do you feel the same way about me?" Blair asked coyly.

"Blair." Serena sighed.

"Serena, you had your chance with him, now it's my turn, so back off bitch!" Blair exclaimed, enjoying this little charade a little too much.

"Has anyone ever told you that you are insane?" Serena retorted.

"Yes. So what do you say Michael? Do you want to make out or something?" Blair asked coyly.

"Umm, no thank you." Michael replied awkwardly, not realizing that Blair was teasing him.

"Oh, okay. Well do you want to do it on the kitchen table? Don't worry, Serena will leave." Blair asked in mock excitement.

"I'm married." Michael finally admitted.

"Oh, that's okay, that's how I like 'em." Blair said with a large wink.

"Michael, I'm sorry. Blair's teasing you. You can go if you want." Serena said kindly, glaring at Blair.

"Thank you Miss van der Woodsen." Michael said and opened the kitchen door only to knock it into some sort of barrier.

The girls looked towards the door at the sound of the loud _thump_ and saw Chuck and Eric looking as guilty as ever.

"What are you two doing, listening to our conversation?" Serena asked, glaring Eric.

"Umm…" Eric began.

"Yes." Chuck deadpanned. Blair rolled her eyes.

"But we've also come to share some interesting news." Chuck added.

"Well?" Serena demanded.

Chuck walked over to where Serena and Blair sat, standing closer to Blair than necessary and gently brushing against her leg in the process. She shivered a little at the contact. Eric followed suit.

Chuck handed Serena his phone and Blair looked over her shoulder.

A wide grin emerged on Blair's face and she tilted her head back to let out what could only be described as an evil laugh.

Serena looked at Blair with an 'I-can't-believe-you' face. Blair didn't care.

Eric looked unsure of how to respond so he just stood there.

Chuck, despite his best efforts, looked as pleased as Blair did and couldn't help but stare at her in admiration, while she didn't notice, of course.

* * *

**Spotted: Little J learning if you play with fire, you're going to get burned. And we all know how B likes her victims; burnt to a crisp. It appears that our Queen has decided to make an example of Little J. I don't know about you, but I've heard B loud and clear. Check out the pics below to see what I mean. You know you love me. Xoxo, Gossip Girl. **

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	4. Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow

**AN: Sadly, I own nothing. Spoiler-free. **

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**Chapter 4: Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow**

"How the hell did you manage to pull _this_ off?" Serena asked despite her better judgments.

"I'm so glad you asked, S." Blair said with a large grin permanently imprinted on her face.

"I mean, I always knew I was brilliant. There was no doubt about it, but this, _this_ was one of my greatest victories." Blair bragged.

"I think we should all take a minute to revel in the fact that I was able to do this. Just think, could you imagine pulling this off? This is some of my best work." Blair declared.

"Okay, let's stop with the Blair is wonderful talk and continue to how you effectively ruined Jenny's life." Serena scolded.

"Now S, are you upset that I didn't include you?" Blair teased.

"No. I'm upset that my best friend could do this. You don't treat a human being this way." Serena sighed.

"Correction, _you_ don't treat a human being this way, I do." Blair replied. "So do you want to hear it or not?"

"Just tell us." Eric said, but there was a certain eagerness mixed with excitement in his voice.

"Where to begin?" Blair asked rhetorically.

"_It all came to me about three weeks ago. What makes Jenny Humphrey Jenny Humphrey? Brilliant blue eyes, lack of money, lack of fashion sense, and her long blonde hair. Even I had to admit, it was gorgeous._

_How does one ruin a girl with such pretty blonde hair I asked myself? Obviously she would never take my advice on how to style or cut it; she hates me. _

_And then it hit me, the one thing that makes hair fall out; Nair. I have to say, it is one of the most useful products in the world. _

_Now I had the idea; I had the tools, the only thing that I needed was the means to do it. That was the tough part. I'll admit it, I was stumped. _

_How would I get her to willingly put the Nair in her hair? I mean I couldn't go up to her and tell her to use this product, she would never listen. _

_This is where it gets good. This is why I am Blair Waldorf. This is why I am definitely getting into Yale. Are you ready? _

_It was you, Serena. Yes you helped me in my act of revenge and for that I am eternally grateful. _

_At this point, you're probably thinking what the hell is she talking about? I don't remember ever discussing this with Blair, she never had me do any favors, etc, etc. _

_But if you think carefully, you'll remember that I once asked you to pick up some ice cream on your way to my place from Dan's apartment, you know, before the break up. There in lies key. _

_The bag that the ice cream was in was from a supermarket a few blocks from the Humphrey's house. I paid the store a little visit. It turns out, Mr. Humphrey has his groceries delivered to the house on a weekly basis because he's too busy with work to go shopping, bless his soul. _

_So what did I do, you ask? This Thursday, I talked to the store's delivery boy and he allowed me to look at all of the Humphrey's groceries. You'll find I can be quite persuasive when the occasion arises. _

_The boy told me that Jenny specifically picked out her shampoo and conditioner, so I was sure that my little quest for revenge wouldn't affect Dan or her dad in the process. _

_I also knew that if I switched Jenny's regular shampoo and conditioner with Nair, she would be able to tell the difference. Nair has a very distinctive smell. _

_I had to find a way around this little dilemma so I bought an expensive brand of shampoo and conditioner, which Jenny would love to use but obviously couldn't afford. I emptied the bottles and poured Nair into each one. _

_I instructed the delivery boy to inform Jenny that the store made a mix up with her hair products, but since the new ones were a better quality than what she had asked for, she should just keep them. Naturally, she did this, the little social-climber that she is. _

_The pieces were laid out and the plan was in action. All I had to do was wait for Jenny to shower and use her new and improved hair products. _

_Before your mother called me over last night, I was outside the Humphrey's apartment. I could hear Jenny screaming and crying through the window. _

_I assumed she would get a wig and it would somehow attract attention and scrutiny that way, but never in a million years did I expect my luck to be so good that someone would get a picture of her with no hair and no wig."_ Blair finished her flashback dramatically and sighed.

* * *

"Are you happy now?" Serena asked, shaking her head in part amusement part revulsion.

Although Serena agreed that what Jenny did was wrong, she didn't have the same taste for revenge that Chuck and Blair did. And this was definitely one of the cruelest things Blair had ever done.

"Sadly, I'm very happy." Blair replied with a smirk.

"Remind me never to get on your bad side, Blair." Eric said only half seriously.

"Eric van der Woodsen you never could." Blair said and patted his shoulder with a smile.

"So is that it? Are you going to stop this madness?" Serena asked exasperatedly.

"For today at least. Poor Jenny Humphrey has no money, no friends, no boyfriend, and now, no hair. I think it's the saddest thing I've ever heard." Blair said with an evil glint in her eye.

"I mean, even you S have to appreciate the thought I put into this. The plotting, the manipulating, the execution. Everything worked out perfectly. I just love it when a plan falls into place." Blair squealed in joy.

"Well, nobody does revenge better than Blair Waldorf." Serena said sarcastically to her best friend. "But on the bright side, I don't think I've seen you this happy in a long time."

"Something about total social destruction and ruining lives brings out the best in me." Blair agreed with a smile.

"Wow. Looks, brains, _and_ a complete bitch. How _do_ you stay single?" Eric asked sardonically.

"Oh, you know, it's a battle." Blair retorted, smirk still in place.

"Yeah…clearly." Eric deadpanned.

"Well I for one am impressed." Chuck finally spoke up, giving Blair a sexy smirk.

"Thank you for your opinion. Now fuck off and die, you fucked up piece of shit." Blair said dangerously soft.

"Someone's still got her panties in a bunch." Chuck replied angrily but giving Blair a fiery look at the same time.

"S, I think we better go. We have some major retail therapy ahead of us." Blair said, ignoring Chuck's comment.

Serena nodded in agreement and the two girls left the penthouse.

* * *

**Spotted: B looking as victorious **_**and**_** evil as ever in the van der Woodsen-Bass suite, retelling how she managed to make Jenny Humphrey lose her hair. I must admit, I would have loved to hear it straight from the horse's mouth but I'm sure word will get out eventually, and of course, I'll be the first one to spread the news. **

**Rumor is S and B are going on a little shopping excursion to pick out something to wear for Bart Bass' company's gala tonight. I wonder what color B will be wearing; I'm thinking red. You know you love me. Xoxo, Gossip Girl. **

* * *

"Sadly, I'm very happy." – Entourage (TV Show)

"Remind me never to get on your bad side."

"Eric van der Woodsen you never could." – Entourage (TV Show) (In the original quote, 'Eric van der Woodsen' is replaced with 'Ari Gold')

"I think it's the saddest thing I've ever heard." – Cruel Intentions (Movie)

Looks, brains, _and_ a complete bitch. How _do_ you stay single?"

"Oh, you know, it's a battle."

"Yeah…clearly." – Dirt (TV Show) (In the original quote, 'a complete bitch' is replaced with 'venom')

"Thank you for your opinion. Now fuck off and die, you fucked up piece of shit." – Closer (Movie) (In the original quote 'original' is replace with 'honesty' and 'piece of shit' is replaced with 'slag')


	5. No Sleep Tonight

**AN: Sadly, I own nothing. Spoiler-free. **

* * *

**Chapter 5: No Sleep Tonight **

He was getting pissed. An hour was fashionably late, but now it was hitting the two hour mark. Things weren't looking good.

He thought they were going shopping for dresses to wear tonight, at least that's what Gossip Girl had said. But she _had_ been wrong before.

He was also counting on Serena to force Blair into coming, assuming that Lily was forcing Serena. Once again life proved to him that he couldn't count on anyone but himself, and even that was touch and go.

Just as he resigned to thinking that she would be pulling a no-show tonight he spotted a blonde head of hair that he would recognize anywhere. But disappointment quickly followed as he saw that his future step sister was alone. _Damn it!_

He turned around in his seat, about to engage Eric in a discussion about something meaningless to try to keep his mind from feeling frustrated when Serena glided over to his table in a gorgeous teal floor-length gown.

"Hey Eric." Serena said brightly. Clearly her shopping trip had cheered her up. "Chuck."

"Hello Sister." Chuck retorted with a disgusting look on his face.

"Hey Serena." Eric said. "Where's Blair?" He asked, knowing Chuck was dying to ask the same question but pride wouldn't allow him.

"She should be here any minute." Serena answered looking towards the door.

On cue, Blair walked in looking mildly irritated, just the way Chuck liked her.

He couldn't help but get immediately turned on. She was wearing a red cocktail dress, as Gossip Girl had suggested, that hugged her curves in all the right places. Her lips matched her dress and Chuck tried to remember what they had tasted like. _Delicious. _

"Where did you run off to? Secret rendezvous?" Serena teased as Blair pulled up the seat next to her.

"That's right." Blair replied sarcastically. "With Nate."

"Really?" Serena asked in awe.

"No, not really, Serena." Blair sighed and rolled her eyes.

"The last conversation we had included him calling me a disgusting whore who has no soul and me telling him that I faked both times with him. I doubt there'll be reconciliation on either side any time soon." Blair explained.

"Oh, right, right, right, right, right." Serena said in a British accent.

"Shut up." Blair said.

"What's the matter?" Serena asked realizing Blair's foul mood.

"Nothing, just a fight with the mother. The woman is severely unhinged." Blair said.

"Maybe, but her heart's in the right place." Serena said trying to comfort her.

"She has no heart." Blair deadpanned.

"Aw, does somebody need a hug?" Serena asked in a childish voice.

"No thank you." Blair said.

"Do you want to dance?" Serena asked.

"You're not really my type." Blair retorted.

"Cute." Serena said. "C'mon, let's dance; it'll get your mind off of things."

"Fine." Blair said, but she sounded a little enthusiastic.

Chuck watch intently as Serena dragged Blair onto the dance floor. He couldn't get his eyes off her.

Why did he have to be such a tool and tell her that he didn't want her? He had royally fucked himself over. Now she hated him.

"See something you like?" Eric taunted him.

"I don't know what you're talking about." Chuck lied. He didn't need Eric telling Serena or Blair that Chuck still had a thing for Blair.

After swaying to song after song for an hour or so, Blair whispered something to Serena and walked off the dance floor.

Chuck's eyes followed her figure as she walked out one of the doors that didn't lead to any bathroom that he was aware of. He was intrigued.

"Don't wait up." He said to Eric and quickly followed Blair, trying to seem inconspicuous.

He watched her get into an elevator and noted that she had gone to the seventh floor. Waiting several minutes, he got into an elevator of his own and hit the seven.

When he arrived, he looked around for any sign of her but all he saw was a hallway filled with rooms and restrooms around the corner of the elevator.

That was it! Clearly Blair didn't want to wait on the line that was sure to be long for the bathroom directly outside the ballroom so instead tried to find a more secluded one where there would be less people.

Chuck was quite pleased, this was even better than he could have hoped for. He finally would be able to talk to her alone and try to explain why he said what he said.

He opened the door and quickly locked it behind him, trying to be as quiet as possible.

She exited the stall she was in and proceeded to wash her hands, still unaware of his presence. It was when she looked in the mirror to touch up her hair that she noticed him staring at her.

"What are you doing here; this is the lady's room? I know you have trouble reading and all-" Blair stopped as he walked towards her.

"Can we talk?" Chuck asked.

"I don't think so. Bye." Blair said, trying to pull the door open.

She realized it was locked and tried to twist the lock, but it wouldn't budge.

"What did you do?" She demanded.

"Relax." Chuck said walking over to the door.

He was angry that she refused to listen to him but he wasn't going to keep her here against her will. He tried to twist the lock but found that he couldn't manage to either.

"Shit. I forgot that these doors can only be unlocked from the outside." Chuck said after his failed attempt.

"Okay, just call your father." Blair said, trying to remain composed.

Chuck pulled out his cell and let out a groan as he realized the battery had died.

"What about yours?" He asked.

"It's downstairs with my bag." Blair said angrily.

"Ugh!" She let out a yell of rage. "Help! Somebody! Help!"

After a minute of yelling Chuck finally interrupted her.

"No one's going to hear us over the music. Looks like it's just you and me." Chuck said smarmily.

"Well that's just great!" Blair shouted and slammed her head against the door.

"Relax. The maids should be here by 7 or 8 tomorrow morning and I can think of a few things to keep us busy until then." Chuck said looking at Blair with lust filled eyes.

"Does one of them include me stabbing you with my shoe?" Blair retorted in frustration.

"You're feisty when you don't get any." Chuck said, edging closer.

"Fuck you!" Blair yelled.

"Oh would you, please?" Chuck asked, stepping closer. Blair backed away from him.

"What happened to you not wanting me anymore?" Blair asked accusatorily.

"B, by now you should know, I'm Chuck Bass, I lie." He said moving her into a corner.

"Don't touch me!" She shouted as he was a breath away from her.

"But you want me to." He whispered.

Chuck leaned into Blair and she grabbed his collar, pulling him closer to her. Her lips found his and her tongue sought entrance to his mouth. He quickly obliged. Their kisses were hot and rough and just the way they both liked it.

"Do you want me?" Blair murmured in a seductive voice.

Chuck pushed her further against the wall, pushing his hips into her in the process. She felt the extent of his desire for her immediately.

"Does that answer your question?" Chuck muttered.

"Well then you might not like this." Blair whispered.

"What?" Chuck mumbled.

He tried to slide the straps of her dress down her shoulders but she forcefully pushed him away. Chuck wasn't sure what had happened but he reached for Blair again. She, however, had different plans and pushed him again, finally escaping from his grasp.

"Down boy." Blair murmured, looking pointedly at his crotch.

"Come _on_!" Chuck yelled in frustration.

"Did you honestly think I had forgiven you that easily? Oh, you did? That's so sweet." Blair taunted him.

"FUCK!" Chuck yelled and slammed him fist into one of the walls.

"Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!" Chuck screamed in agony.

"Why the hell would you do that you idiot?" Blair asked, shaking her head.

She moved over to look at his hand and couldn't help let a gasp escape. The skin around his knuckles was torn away and blood was gushing from his hand. He was visibly in pain. Although he wasn't crying he looked as if he wanted to.

"Come here." Blair sighed dragging him over to the nearest sink and placing his hand under cold water.

"Shit! That's freezing." Chuck whined.

"You complain way too much for a guy." Blair teased. Chuck was not amused.

"I just broke my knuckles because of you and you have the nerve to make fun of me." Chuck shouted.

"Hey, it's not my fault you don't know how to manage your anger." Blair said innocently.

"Well it's not my fault if you get me all hot and bothered and then leave me high and dry." Chuck breathed in her ear.

Blair pushed him away, continuing to hold his hand under the faucet until the blood stopped flowing.

"Actually Chuck, it's exactly your fault." Blair responded.

"Oh really? It's my fault that you seduced me and got me all excited?" Chuck asked patronizingly.

"Don't flatter yourself. I did _not_ seduce you. You came on to me." Blair said.

"Well not yet, but that would have been nice." Chuck said waggling his eyebrows suggestively.

"You are the most disgusting creature I've ever had the misfortune of knowing." Blair sighed.

"Did you think I was disgusting that night in the limo?" Chuck retorted, licking his lips.

"We are done with this conversation." Blair declared, letting go of Chuck's hand.

Chuck grabbed a towel and wrapped it around his injured hand, smirking all the while.

"It's a simple question, B." Chuck teased.

"I'll try to be more succinct," Blair said repeating the harsh words he had said to her "we are _not_ speaking. We are _not_ okay, nor will we ever be."

"Is that why you kissed me back just now?" Chuck continued advancing on Blair again.

"Chuck, stop! You take a step closer and you're going to part with a very special organ. Understand?" Blair shouted, but it seemed to lack her former coldness.

"Really?" Chuck asked catching Blair in between his body and the wall yet again.

"Yes." Blair said but her voice didn't sound like she believed it.

Chuck leaned in, his lips a centimeter from hers. For a moment, he did nothing, breathing her in. Then just as suddenly, he pulled back.

"Okay, if that's the way you want it." Chuck said.

Blair released the breath she wasn't aware she was holding feeling slightly disappointed at the turn of events. She despised Chuck, this was true, but she couldn't help but feel attracted to him in this moment.

Her former joy of her victory over Jenny was long gone. This would most definitely be a long and unpleasant night.

* * *

**Spotted: C following B into a secluded bathroom. Hot and steamy quickie, perhaps? Or could it be WWIII in the making? With these two, anything is possible. My bet's on the former, have you seen the way they look at each other? Even I have to admit there is some **_**major**_** heat between them. But what do you expect when the Devil himself and the Queen Bitch get together. You know you love me. Xoxo, Gossip Girl. **

* * *


	6. Sunday Mornings

**AN: Sadly, I own nothing. **

* * *

**Chapter 6: Sunday Mornings**

"Here." Chuck patted an open area on the chaise he was currently laying on.

This particular lady's room in the Palace hotel came equipped with the standard items and some extra amenities including a sofa, which was pushed against one of the bathroom's walls, in case someone needed to relax.

Blair laughed at the irony that she could hardly be relaxed with Chuck Bass in the same room as her, not to mention the same sofa. It just wasn't going to happen.

"I think not." Blair said haughtily.

"Suit yourself. We have a good," Chuck looked at his Rolex, "7 or 8 hours ahead of us and you're telling me you're going to spend it sitting on the bathroom floor?" Chuck asked incredulously.

"You're correct. I won't be on the floor, you will be." Blair decided, walking over to the sofa and crossing her arms.

"Is that so? And who's going to make me? You? Please, go ahead and try." Chuck challenged, knowing she couldn't back down.

Blair grabbed his arms and attempted to pull him up off the couch but he managed to pull her on top of him instead.

"Waldorf, I didn't know you felt that way about me." Chuck breathed in her ear.

Blair quickly jumped off of him and righted her dress.

"Can't you be a gentleman?" Blair asked, knowing it was a lost cause.

"Sorry, I don't like sleeping on the bathroom floor; you never know what types of things you might acquire." Chuck teased, trying to rile Blair up.

"Chu-_uck_! Come on, it's your fault that we're trapped here." Blair whined.

"There's plenty of room for one more." Chuck said

"And get mauled? I don't think so." Blair said and stood angrily against the wall across from him.

"I'll be good. I won't bite unless you ask really nice." Chuck promised.

"Well in that case sign me up." Blair said sarcastically.

"Seriously, Waldorf. Last chance offer. Next time there'll be a price to pay to get to join me. And you can't charge it on your black Am Ex." Chuck added with a meaningful smirk.

"You're sickening." Blair said, yet walking over to the chaise all the same.

She sat on the edge of the couch, making sure not to touch him and slid off each shoe as Chuck watched from his laying position, transfixed.

"You touch me and I yell 'rape.'" Blair deadpanned.

"Who do you think would hear you?" Chuck asked.

"Whatever, Chuck. Just keep to your side of the couch and we'll all make it out alright." Blair said taking up as much room as she dared.

* * *

The next morning, 7:39 to be exact, Blair was awoken by the sound of one of the Palace Hotel's maids scurrying about. Confusion was quickly replaced by realization as the memory of the events of last night came back to Blair.

Attempting to sit up Blair was more than shocked to find herself cuddled into Chuck's warm embrace. Quickly she untangled herself, lest Chuck wake up to see the position she was currently in. She slid on her shoes, stood up, and slapped Chuck's back to wake him up.

"What the hell was that for, Bridgetta?" Chuck demanded, clearly forgetting where he was.

"Time to go, moron." Blair said with disgust, not wanting to know just who Bridgetta might be.

"Blair?" Chuck asked as he opened his eyes and nearly rolled off the sofa.

"What are you, oh yeah…?" Chuck trailed off as he recalled last night.

"Well that was fun. I think we should do it again sometime soon." Chuck said with a grin as he got up and followed Blair out the door.

Blair said nothing. She was slightly embarrassed that she was thinking that Chuck looked completely adorable with bed head and was trying to not let that show on her face.

"I forgot you're not a morning person." Chuck said with a smirk. "You know, with all the mornings we've spent together you think I'd remember by now."

Again Blair remained silent.

Chuck pressed the call button for the elevator and stared shamelessly at Blair as they waited for the elevator to arrive. Blair looked at one of the paintings on the wall, trying not to think about how good being in Chuck's arms had felt.

Blair was less than pleased at the thought of ridding in a _slow_ elevator that happen to carry some memories with Chuck, but she needed to see if Serena had found her purse and phone last night.

She would just need to ignore her; well it _definitely_ could not be desire, for Chuck. Annoyance. That was it. She was annoyed at him for ruining her evening.

He held the elevator door open for her and Blair walked in trying to divert her eyes from him. He walked in close behind her.

They stood in silence as the floors passed by.

"How about I hit the emergency stop button and we relive some old times?" Chuck whispered into Blair's ear. She shivered slightly at the closeness.

"Get away from me or so help me you won't make it to your eighteenth birthday." Blair deadpanned.

Chuck put his hands up in surrender.

"Have it your way." He said with mild disappointment.

The elevator doors opened to floor 15. Blair briskly walked ahead of Chuck into the penthouse. Serena was sitting alone in the dining room.

"Well it's about time. I was getting worried." Serena said and then froze as she saw Chuck walking behind Blair.

"You don't even want to know." Blair sighed and picked up her clutch and phone that were on the table.

Serena looked from Blair to Chuck back to Blair with confusion and disgust on her face. She was about to ask Blair what the hell she was thinking when Chuck cut into her thoughts.

"Relax, Sis, nothing happened. Unfortunately." Chuck muttered the last word and helped himself to a croissant.

Serena let out a sigh of relief.

"Do you want some breakfast?" Serena asked Blair.

"I think I'm going to pass." Blair said, glancing at Chuck. "I'll see you tomorrow, right S?"

"Yeah, we'll walk to school together." Serena replied.

"Okay. See you then." Blair said and walked back to the elevator.

Serena gave Chuck another look of disdain and got up from the table, walking to her room.

* * *

Monday morning Blair waited outside the Palace for Serena's smiling face. What she was greeted by was a teary-eyed girl.

"What's the matter?" Blair asked as she pushed some of Serena's luscious blonde hair out of her face.

"It-it's just that sometimes Dan and I would walk around together and he would always wait for me right here." Serena sobbed.

Blair sighed. She had hoped that their weekend of fun would be enough to cheer Serena up and give her a new perspective on things but apparently it had only distracted her. She was still hung up on Brooklyn.

"Oh, S, it's going to be alright." Blair said and gave her friend a hug.

"No it's not. I love him B." Serena cried.

"I know you do, Sweetie. It's going to work out. You can get through this." Blair said with as much enthusiasm as she could muster.

In reality, Blair didn't know if she believed what she was telling Serena but now wouldn't be the time to mention that. After all, had _she_ really gotten over her boy issues?

Serena just nodded.

"C'mon. We can't be late. Our loyal servants need us to rule over them." Blair said with a small smile.

"That's great B. Really nice." Serena said as she wiped her face off.

"Thank you. And you might want to consider looking in a mirror sometime soon. You have major raccoon eyes." Blair continued with a smirk.

"You are such a bitch." Serena said, though a small smile had emerged on her tear stained face.

"Which is why you love me." Blair retorted and pulled Serena towards school.

"Yeah, yeah." Serena said.

* * *

The rest of the week passed in a similar manner. Every morning Blair was met with fresh tears and a broken looking best friend. Serena, it seemed, wouldn't be getting over Lonely Boy any time soon.

No matter if they went shopping, hit up Bliss for facials, or just hung out pigging out on junk food, Serena wouldn't snap out of her slump.

Blair was getting tired of her best friend moping around and acting all miserable over some guy, hello that was _her_ job, and decided that if she had to hear another story about how perfect Dan was, someone was going to get shot.

Blair had thought that there was nothing worse than Serena being with Dan, but it turned out that Serena _not_ being with Dan was making both of them miserable.

Drastic action would need to be taken. Blair couldn't handle seeing Serena's face riddled with tears any longer.

There was only one thing left that Blair could think to do. She decided that it was time to swallow her pride and do what was best for Serena.

* * *

The doorbell rang in the van der Woodsen-Bass penthouse Friday night as dinner was about to begin. One of the maids answered it and welcomed in the guests.

"Who is it?" Eric asked curiously.

"Blair. And she said she was bringing a male friend." Lily informed the table.

Chuck's heart lurched. A male friend…could this be a new boyfriend? He didn't even want to honor that thought but nothing else made sense. Chuck felt anger radiate from him at the idea of Blair bringing her new boyfriend into _his_ house.

Five minutes passed and Blair and her mysterious date still hadn't gone past the foyer. Nobody in the dining room could see what was going on but the voices were becoming clearer by the second.

"I said get in the goddamned house now!" Blair bellowed at her victim.

"You aren't the boss of me, Blair." The guy answered in annoyance.

His voice was a little muffled and thus indistinguishable.

"Is that what you think?' Blair asked quietly.

"That's not what I think, it's what I know." The mystery guy said smartly.

And suddenly footsteps were heard and someone sounded like they were in a momentous amount of pain.

"Ow, ow, ow. That is attached to my head." The guy whimpered.

Blair disregarded him and continued to drag him, by his ear, to the table.

"Sorry we're late. Someone's a little shy." Blair explained as if she were talking about a child, releasing her date's ear.

* * *

**Spotted: Outside the Palace Hotel. Check. In Bendel's. Check. Buying jewelry at Tiffany's. Check. Bliss Spa. Bergdorf's. Blair's house. Check. Check. And check. It seems that our little S has been shedding a lot of tears lately. Does it have anything to do with her recent breakup with a certain Brooklyn-ite? Me thinks so. Cheer up, S. With a face like yours, there'll be a new guy on your doorstep in no time. You know you love me. Xoxo, Gossip Girl. **

* * *


	7. Déjà vu

**AN: Sadly, I own nothing. **

A portion of this chapter is **rated M** for mild sexual content. This will be clearly indicated and if this rating offends you, you may skip over it. The general plot of the story will not be lost to you.

* * *

**Chapter 7: Déjà vu **

Chuck let out a breath of relief, he was never happier to see Daniel Humphrey than this very moment.

Serena gave Blair a look of pain and mouthed "How could you?" Blair smiled widely, ignoring Serena.

Dan tried to pull out the empty chair situated next to Chuck but Blair quickly ran over and sat in it.

"Why thank you Dan. It's nice to see that chivalry isn't dead." Blair said sweetly.

Dan grunted angrily and trudged over to the seat next to Serena. Blair smiled at the miserable couple.

Lily looked at Blair in approval, finally comprehending what Blair was trying to do.

Blair had called that afternoon asking if she could join the family for dinner and bring a male friend. Lily was surprised but graciously accepted. Now she was pleased that she had. Blair was going to try to help Serena and Dan make up, which was clearly the best thing for the both of them.

The waiters then brought out the first course to everyone. Lily and Bart sat at the heads of the table again, Eric, Chuck, and Blair sat on one side and Serena and Dan sat on the other.

Chuck and Eric were the only ones talking; Serena and Dan didn't even look in each other's direction unless they absolutely had to.

Blair was mouthing "talk to him" to Serena when she felt someone's shoeless foot run up her leg. She looked down and saw that, as expected, it was Chuck's.

Trying not to seem obvious, Blair dug her heel into Chuck's foot and he yelped in pain.

"Charles?" Bart asked.

"Oh, I'm sorry Chuck. I didn't realize that was your foot, I thought it was the leg of the table." Blair said feigning innocence.

Keeping up pretenses, Chuck accepted her apology and everyone resumed eating in peace.

Chuck again turned his head to Eric and Blair looked pointedly at Serena. Serena refused to meet Blair's stares and instead took to looking at the napkin in her lap.

Suddenly, Blair felt a hand slither up her left thigh. She tried to push it off without drawing attention to herself but the hand only held onto her thigh tighter.

Blair turned her attention to Chuck who was still talking animatedly to Eric, although a small smirk was now on his face.

Blair tried again to push Chuck's hand off but failed and this time, Chuck's hand moved higher up Blair's thigh. A little too high for Blair's liking.

**Start Rated M**

Fortunately, the table cloth was long enough so that no one could see what Chuck's hand was doing, though if anyone paid close enough attention to either Chuck or Blair, it would become quite obvious.

Blair's face was becoming flushed as Chuck's hand finally reached its destination. She didn't even try to push it away.

Chuck's small smirk overtook his face as his hand teased Blair, whose breathing had become erratic in the span of thirty seconds.

"Are you okay, B?" Serena asked Blair who sounded like she was out of breath.

"Yeah." Blair said quickly.

Just as Chuck's fingers slid inside Blair, the waiters came around, collecting the dishes, and Chuck froze until they were gone.

Tired of waiting, Blair grabbed his hand and shoved it into her. She managed to stifle a moan in the form of a sneeze and continued as if nothing had happened.

Chuck proceeded to work his magic under the table and soon enough Blair was gasping, though pretending to be caught in a fit of coughing.

Only after Chuck felt Blair's inner muscles start to relax did he finally remove his fingers.

Blair tried to calm her breathing and Chuck couldn't help but to laugh. However, he soon stopped after his father gave him a stern glare.

**End Rated M**

Bart's cell phone rang and he answered, getting up from the table and walking towards his office.

Lily said something about giving the kids some time to talk and excused herself as well.

Finally having composed herself enough to seem normal, Blair got down to the real purpose of tonight's dinner.

"So Dan, what are you doing tomorrow, because Serena's not doing anything?" Blair asked gazing hard at Dan as he stared at his plate.

"Actually, _Blair_, I was thinking maybe we could go shopping again." Serena answered glaring at Blair.

"Oh, I'd love to, but I already have plans." Blair responded in a sugary-sweet voice.

"With whom, may I ask?" Serena asked.

"Oh…uh…" Blair struggled to come up with a believable answer.

"With me." Chuck said smoothly. "We're going to see a play."

Blair looked at Chuck not sure whether to thank him or slap him. She turned her head back to Serena.

"Yes, Chuck and I are going to see a play and we only have two tickets. Sorry S." Blair said not sounding sorry at all.

"And what play will you and _Chuck_ be seeing?" Serena demanded, seething with anger.

"Les Mis." Blair answered after a moment's thought. "Right _Chuck?_"

"That's right. And afterwards we're going to dinner at a romantic restaurant and after that, who knows?" Chuck said, in a voice riddled with innuendo.

Blair resisted the urge to smack the smug smile off of his face.

"Which leaves you free!" Blair chirped to Serena. "And Dan, according to your father, who is a very lovely man, by the way, you haven't gone out in weeks. It's safe to say that you're free as well."

"Blair…" Serena trailed off.

"So I was thinking…maybe you two should hang out tomorrow. For old time's sake." Blair said triumphantly.

"You know Blair; you just don't know when enough is enough, do you?" Serena said angrily.

Serena got up from the table and rushed into the hallway and presumably up to her bedroom.

Blair sat at the table staring intently at Dan who was at a loss for what to do or say at this point.

"Daniel." Blair said after a minute.

"Blair." Dan said coolly.

"Would you like to hear a story?" She asked.

"Actually, no I wouldn't." Dan retorted.

"Well too bad, because I'm going to tell it anyway." Blair replied.

Dan attempted to get up but Chuck gave him a look that said either you listen to her or we're all going to suffer her wrath.

"Fine." Dan agreed.

"Excellent. I think you're really going to like it." Blair said excitedly.

"I'm sure I will." Dan said sarcastically.

Blair clicked her tongue in disapproval but began her story without any further preamble.

"This story is about a girl, let's call her Derena. Derena was a beautiful, sweet, and smart girl, who happened to make _really_ bad choices." Blair began and Dan rolled his eyes but continued to listen.

"And Derena's equally attractive best friend Cher, who incidentally made a few bad choices of her own, would do anything to help Derena." Blair went on.

"So one day, Derena met this guy...San. San was completely different from the guys Derena used to know and Cher didn't approve of him. However, Cher soon saw how well San treated Derena and how in love they were, and she was happy for her best friend." Blair explained.

"But then, Derena's old friend came back into town and brought out the not so good side of Derena. San didn't like the person Derena was becoming and broke up with her." Blair said.

"Cher tried to cheer Derena up and convince her that there was life after San, but Se-Derena couldn't accept it. Cher did the only thing she knew how to do to help Derena: she reunited her with her true love, San." Blair added, stumbling over her words a little.

"San and Derena talked about their issues and realized that it was silly for them to break up over a few mistakes and some foolish pride. They were madly in love with each other, after all." Blair concluded.

"What happened?" Dan asked sarcastically, but still wanting to hear the ending to Blair's crazy story just for the sake of hearing it.

"Oh, well Derena and San made up and everything was fine until San realized that he was in love with Cher. And really, who could blame him?" Blair said with a grin.

Dan gave Blair a weary look but she only smiled a broad smile at him. Dan looked to Chuck, who was sitting to Blair's left, and then to Eric, who was on Chuck's left. They were each giving him the same look that Blair was. They too had had to deal with Serena without Dan and silently agreed that a Dan-Serena reunion was the best thing for everyone involved.

Dan sighed and got up from the table, going in the same direction that Serena had gone. Blair smiled in victory.

"Been practicing this speech, haven't you?" Eric asked with a smirk.

"Little bit. Did I rush it? I felt like I rushed it." Blair smirked back.

"No, it was good, I liked it. The pretending that you cared part was a nice touch." Eric responded.

"It's weird; people seem to respond more if you act like you believe what you're saying." Blair replied.

Eric shook his head at Blair and Chuck stared deeply at her.

"So…when should I pick you up for our date?" Chuck asked Blair with his trademark smirk.

"Umm, how about the twelfth of never? Does that work for you?" Blair replied snottily.

"How about noon and why don't you wear something low cut?" Chuck suggested, bringing his right hand to his mouth and sucking on his fingers knowingly.

"How about you shut your face." Blair said with a saccharine voice that was poisonous.

"Now if you'll excuse me, I have to use the facilities." Blair said and stood up.

Chuck swept his hands over to the hallway where the bathroom was in faux respect. Blair rolled her eyes.

"You're welcome, by the way." Chuck called after her. "And a little reciprocation would be nice."

Blair walked down the hallway and pushed open the bathroom door and stared in shock, unable to move.

* * *

**Spotted: B's mystery date was none other than Lonely Boy. Could this be B's new boy toy or is she only trying to make C jealous? Neither sounds very likely considering B's distaste for anything Brooklyn. However, it is possible that B is hoping to reconcile S with her former love. Is this the same B that de-haired Little J not even a week ago? I guess everyone has an off day, and in B's case, that means being nice. You know you love me. Xoxo, Gossip Girl. **

* * *

1) "Been practicing this speech, haven't you?"

"Little bit. Did I rush it? I felt like I rushed it."

"No, it was good, I liked it." – Ocean's Eleven (Movie)

2) The rated M section was inspired by a scene in the movie Wedding Crashers


	8. Move Your Feet

**AN: Sadly, I own nothing.**

* * *

**Chapter 8: Move Your Feet**

Dan walked out of the dining room of the massive penthouse and walked towards the stairs, shaking his head at the turn of events. Three hours ago he was convinced that he would never be in the same room as Serena, let alone about to go talk to her, but he underestimated the power that was Blair Waldorf.

As he sat alone in his small room in his small apartment writing poems that he couldn't seem to finish, he wondered how the hell he had gotten to this point. He had been in love with Serena and he pushed her away because she had a few flaws. That was one of the reasons he fell in love with her in the first place, she wasn't afraid to show who she really was.

But he couldn't handle seeing the old-Serena reemerge. He had put her on a pedestal, convinced him self that she was perfect in every way, and had expected nothing less of her. The minute she deviated from the reformed good girl image she had created for herself, he panicked. Everything he thought he knew about her went up in flames and he didn't know how to react.

So he ended it. It seemed logical at the time, though now he wasn't so sure it was the best move. He should have been there for her. He should have helped her deal with her past, even if it wasn't something he was comfortable with. But he didn't.

He pushed her away and now had to live with the consequences. She would definitely move on, find some rich heir to some oil fortune or something of the sort and forget his sorry Brooklyn ass. And he would forever regret breaking up with her.

While he was busy berating himself with insults about what a pathetic and insecure boyfriend he had been to the most wonderful girl he had ever known, he didn't hear the doorbell ring. He didn't hear the hushed conversation between his father and Blair. He didn't hear his dad tell Blair how depressed he had been, or how worried he was about his son. He didn't hear Blair tell his dad that Serena was a mess. He would never know how Blair told his father that she was worried about him even more than she was about Serena, because at least Serena had her. His father would never tell him that Blair had comforted him and promised him to make things right between Serena and Dan.

All he knew was his father called him out with false promises of homemade lasagna. All he felt was surprise and then anger at being tricked. And the next thing he knew was his father was helping Blair get him into a taxi and Blair sitting next to him telling him what a moron he was.

When he got to The Palace he refused to get out of the taxi, so Blair brought Dexter over and he grudgingly got into the building and then the elevator. And while he gave the impression that he was furious that he was dragged across town against his will, he was slightly elated at the prospect of seeing Serena again. Because, despite his best efforts to convince himself that he was over her, he most certainly was not.

And when Blair's surprisingly strong grip pulled his ear to the table, he couldn't help but be thankful for her stubbornness.

As Dan was about to ascend the stairs, a muffled sound pulled him out of his reverie. He turned his head in the direction of the sob and saw that the bathroom door in the hallway was ever so slightly ajar. He gently pushed it open and saw Serena, sitting against the wall with her face buried in her hands.

She looked up as she heard the door creak open and a new set of strangled sobs escaped her lips. Before Dan had time to think he walked into the bathroom, shut the door, and pulled Serena into a tight embrace.

She clung to his shirt for a few moments while he stroked her back in soothing circles. Finally her breathing calmed and she looked up at him with her shiny blue eyes and he couldn't believe he had thought that he could go another day without her.

"I'm sorry." He murmured and pulled her tighter to him, kissing the top of her hair.

"I'm sorry, too." She said her voice muffled by his shirt.

"I love you." He whispered and finally looked her in the eye.

"I love you." She breathed.

"Remind me to thank Blair later." He said and brought his lips to hers before she could respond.

* * *

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" Blair shouted as she finally covered her eyes in embarrassment.

She had just witnessed one of the most horrifying sights in all her seventeen years of existence, Dan and Serena having sex.

"I have to go…gouge my eyes out now." Blair said and ran back into the dining room.

Blair returned to the table looking visibly shaken, drawing attention to her self.

"That was fast." Chuck said obnoxiously.

Normally Blair would have said something equally as witty but at the current moment she was too in shock to even register what Chuck had said. All she knew for sure was she was permanently scarred for life and she would never forget those graphic images no matter how hard she tried.

"Are you okay?" He asked after she didn't respond.

"I'm fine. I'm fine." Blair insisted, though Chuck didn't buy it for one second.

Serena and Dan rushed into the dining room in the same manner that Blair had only moments ago, looking a little disheveled.

"Blair, I am so sorry." Serena breathed.

"It's fine. It's fine. It's fine." Blair repeated, covering her eyes with her hands, her head down.

Chuck began to snigger. He had just realized what had occurred.

"It's not funny, Chuck." Serena scolded him.

"That is where you are oh so wrong, Sis." Chuck responded, placing his arm around Blair's shoulders.

"Now why don't you share the details with the class?" Chuck said to a red-faced Blair.

Blair didn't even flinch as Chuck touched her, still out of her mind in shame and disgust at witnessing such an act between her best friend and said best friend's boyfriend. She regretted ever trying to get them back together.

"Breathe, Waldorf." Chuck ordered after he realized he hadn't felt her doing so for the past minute.

"I'm fine." She responded.

"Yeah, you've said that about ten times already and yet no one believes you." Chuck said with a smirk.

Finally, Blair realized that Chuck Bass was touching her and she quickly pushed his arm off her and got up.

"Blair, where are you going?" Serena asked nervously.

"I think I'm going to be sick." Blair managed, refusing to look at Dan or Serena. She quickly ran to the bathroom and retched loudly.

"I guess it wasn't that good." Chuck said.

"Shut up!" Serena shouted.

"No need to yell at me, Sis. I can give you some pointers anytime you want." Chuck said. Dan rolled his eyes.

"Shouldn't you be helping you _girlfriend_?" Dan said, waiting for a reaction. Chuck did not disappoint.

"Chuck Bass does not have a _girlfriend_!" Chuck said the last word in disgust.

"I am not tied down to any woman, let alone Blair Waldorf." Chuck insisted.

"Is that so?" Dan asked, feigning surprise.

"Yes!" Chuck declared.

"Oh, I was just asking because you kind of act like you're whipped, without any of the payoff." Dan said and then kissed Serena on the lips.

"Gross!" Eric yelled walking away from the table as his sister and Dan began to get hot and heavy again.

"Personally, I don't mind being whipped." Dan winked as Serena led him up the stairs to her bedroom.

"Tell Blair I'll see her later." Serena called down to Chuck and then slammed her door shut.

Five minutes later Blair walked back to the dining room looking more composed and less embarrassed than before.

She froze when she saw that only Chuck remained at the table, which now held a colorful array of desserts.

"Where's Serena?" She asked nervously.

"If I'm not mistaken, she and Brooklyn are busy fucking in her room. Chocolate truffle?" Chuck answered in a smooth voice, holding up a plate of chocolate treats.

"With you? I think I'd rather pull my toenails out with pliers." Blair deadpanned.

She turned on her heel and went to the coat closet, retrieving her light jacket and purse.

"Going somewhere?" Chuck asked getting up from his seat and moving towards her.

"Sometimes I really underestimate your intellect, Chuck." Blair said sarcastically.

"Why don't you stay awhile? We can…have dessert." He said picking up a dish off the table. "If memory serves you enjoy whipped cream quite a bit. At least you did when you were eating it off me." He finished with a smirk, dipping his hand in the white topping and offering it out to Blair.

"I think I'll just stick with the pliers for tonight." She said with an eye roll and look of disgust.

"Whatever gets you going." Chuck replied. "Want a lift home?"

"Gee, you know I would but I already threw up once tonight so I better not." Blair said and turned towards the door.

"Noon, right?" Chuck asked as Blair pulled open the door.

"Not even in your dreams." Blair said as the door slammed behind her.

* * *

**Spotted: It's time to come out of mourning, boys and girls. It appears that our beloved odd couple, D and S, are thankfully back together. We knew they couldn't stay apart for long. Actually, we didn't know that but apparently BFF B did. Who knew B could be so selfless? But now that S is happy and in love again will B finally find a new man? Or will she go back to one of her former flames? Only time will tell I'm afraid. You know you love me. Xoxo, Gossip Girl.**

* * *


	9. The Sweet Escape

****

AN: Sadly, I own nothing.

* * *

**Chapter 9: The Sweet Escape**

Chuck sat in his limo in front of her apartment building, silently berating himself for feeling the slightest bit anxious. He, Chuck Bass, had never felt anxious, nervous, worried or any other emotion that signified weakness before in his life. That is, until _her_.

She made him feel things. He despised feeling things. Well, not feeling _everything_, just emotions. And yet around Blair, all he could do was feel different emotions flit throughout him. From his stomach to his heart to the hairs on his arms, which rose whenever she touched him.

So yet again Blair had forced him to feel something that he wasn't really too keen on feeling at the moment. But try as he might, he couldn't fight it. He could feel his palms start to sweat as he thought about what might happen when he showed up to her penthouse uninvited.

What would she do or say? He could only imagine. He could imagine her waiting for him to come. Secretly hoping that he was serious when he told her he would see her at noon. She would act nonchalant about the whole thing as she strolled into his limo and kissed him hungrily, but he would know that she was secretly glad that he came. She was secretly missing him almost as much as he was missing her.

Yeah, right.

Well a guy could dream.

"Pull it together." He said to himself out loud.

He was going to remain calm. He was going to act like the self-absorbed ass that he was and barge into her penthouse and make some snide remark and pretend that he only showed up to annoy her.

Because that was definitely the only reason he was here anyway. Not because _he_ was secretly hoping that she was joking when she told him not even in his dreams would she ever willingly spend time with him. No. He would never ever hope that. He would never hope for anything.

Hope was what killed you, as far as Chuck was concerned. It made you believe that, if only for a moment, things could work out they way that you wanted them to. Hope was an illusion, a diversion. Hope broke your heart every time.

Therefore, he was certainly _not_ hoping for anything to happen this afternoon. In fact, the real and _only_ reason that he was here was to taunt Blair a little and remind her that she owed him a little something in the form of a sexual favor. And he was ready to collect at her earliest convenience.

And with that last thought as a reassurance, that he had absolutely no feelings towards Blair unless they were below the belt, Chuck opened the door to his limo and walked into the familiar building. He stepped into the elevator, ignoring whatever had flitted through his stomach for only a moment.

* * *

"Sometimes I wonder how you can possibly be so stupid. I raised you to make smart choices, I gave you every opportunity and you just threw it down the drain." Eleanor said coldly to her daughter who was wearing a murderous look at such accusations.

"Selfish, Mother? Selfish? Really? How you have the nerve to call _me_ selfish, I'll never know." Blair spat.

"There was a plan that you were supposed to follow, Blair. There are things you were expected to do. You were given everything you ever asked for and all I ever asked for in return was for you to find a respectable boyfriend, a respectable husband." Eleanor responded with equal anger.

Eleanor had only just learned that Blair and Nathanial had separated after an unexpected run in with the lady Archibald herself. Anne had commented in passing about how sad it was that their two kids had broken up.

"_It's a shame really." Anne said with a sad expression on her face._

"_What's that?" Eleanor asked, completely thrown off by what Anne was referring to._

"_Nate and Blair's break up. They had always made such a handsome couple. I suppose there's nothing to be done now." Anne said wistfully._

"_Yes. What a shame." Eleanor responded as her blood boiled. _

"So…so my happiness doesn't matter to you?" Blair shouted angrily, stirring Eleanor from her thoughts.

"Blair, sometimes you have to think about others for a change. I realize that is a foreign concept to you, but try to not be so self involved. Do you have any idea how much _I_ have sacrificed for this family?" Eleanor demanded in an anger that paralleled Blair's.

"What family?" Blair whispered.

"_What?_" Eleanor whispered as her anger rose even higher.

"What family are you referring to, exactly? Because there certainly isn't any family as far as I can see." Blair spat.

"How dare you? Who do you think you are, young lady?" Eleanor yelled, her face a cherry tomato.

And that was when they both realized that they weren't alone.

Because, fresh off the elevator was none other than Charles Bass. He was completely and utterly caught off guard by the scene that he had just walked into. He had never seen either Waldorf woman lose control like this.

At his appearance, Blair froze. She never wanted anyone to see her like that, especially not _him_. No one could ever see her so out of control. It was unacceptable.

When Chuck realized the shame in Blair's face and what might possibly be pain, he knew that he couldn't just sit back. He wouldn't sit back. Blair's mother was poison to Blair. And he for one knew what poisonous parents could do to their offspring. And he knew how Blair dealt with poison. He couldn't leave her alone.

So he made a decision that he knew would not end well for him. Nothing good could come of him putting himself out for Blair. She would no doubt throw it in his face later. In spite of this, he said, "I'm here for our date."

Eleanor made a sound that was a cross between a choke and a laugh.

However, as Blair strode purposely towards Chuck, all humor left Eleanor's face.

But of course, being an Upper East Side woman, Eleanor would never say anything about how Chuck Bass was most definitely not a respectable young man, out of propriety's sake.

She stood speechless as Blair walked next to Chuck and watched as he took her daughter's hand in his own.

Without another word, Blair followed behind Chuck as he led her purposefully into the elevator.

* * *

Chuck couldn't get over his feelings of elation as he held Blair's small, perfect, delicate, soft hand in his own. He was more than a little shocked at his impulsive action and blown away when she actually allowed him to take her hand.

His astonishment continued when she didn't pull her hand away from him once they had entered the elevator. Although, she did seem to be on autopilot at the moment so he tried not to read too much into it.

Once outside, he directed her into his waiting limo and closed the door behind him.

Blair sat in shock. She was shocked at so many things it was almost hard to keep track. She was shocked by her mother's seemingly uncaring attitude towards her happiness, though at this point, she really shouldn't be. She was shocked that she had actually gotten into a screaming match with her mother, whom she usually placated in order to avoid any confrontation. But most of all she was shocked by the man who she was currently sitting next to.

Chuck, whom she was sure, was only alive to torture her, had actually just come to her rescue.

She was contemplating this very thing when she felt the movement of something and realized that she was no longer in her penthouse but was now in Chuck's limo. Holding his hand for dear life.

He was staring at her, wondering what she would do or say. He had never really seen her cry but he thought he detected some tears brimming in her eyes.

She glanced at their hands, laced together perfectly, like they belonged that way. She was almost sad to pull her hand away, to break the beautiful design that their hands created when they were joined. But she did it anyway.

He wasn't all too surprised when he felt her hand slip from his grasp but it hurt just the same. He was waiting for her to start pointing her anger towards him. Shouting at him for touching her or for walking in on her or even for showing up in the first place.

Instead, she started shaking. And then he definitely detected some tears as they stained her porcelain face.

All he wanted to do was hold her and kiss away her tears. If only he could tell her that it would all be okay. But he knew that she wouldn't want that.

That was when the biggest surprise of the day hit him; she laid her head on his shoulder, her face buried in his Canali jacket.

He timidly stroked her back, waiting for her to push his arm away like she had done so many times before, but she didn't. She didn't do anything except cry.

He rubbed her back gently until she calmed. She looked up at him, looking him in the eyes for the first time all day.

"Can we go somewhere?" She asked in a strained voice.

All he could do was nod in response.

He pushed the intercom and directed his driver to the one place he knew she could escape in, Victrola.

* * *

It was by the fourth or fifth round of drinks when Blair finally began to speak. They were sitting in the same booth at Victrola that had started this whole mess. It was kind of poetic.

"After all these years," She began in a slightly drunken voice, "all this time and I should know by now. She doesn't give a shit about me. I'm just a thing to her. My sole purpose in life is to further her career and to act like a fucking robot."

Chuck sighed. He knew the feeling all too well.

"It's like no matter what I do, I can never please her, you know? No matter what, Serena is always perfect in her eyes." Blair whispered.

"Sometimes I want to hate her so bad. Serena. Everyone loves her. My mother practically worships the ground she walks on. But I just can't hate her. It's not her fault." She said in a resigned tone.

Chuck was about to interject and tell Blair that Serena was nothing special and that _she_, Blair, was damn near perfection in his book, when Blair's held back sob interrupted him.

Blair held her face in her hands as she began to shake. Chuck just stroked her back as he had done before and this seemed to calm her down.

"Sometimes I just wish I was her. Just for a day. I just want to know what it's like for people to respect you just because they like you, not because they're afraid of what you'll do to them if they don't." She muttered.

"Shh…" Chuck murmured as he rubbed her back in circular motions. She just sniffled in response.

Blair took another gulp of her drink. She didn't even know what it was, Chuck had ordered for her. She just wanted to escape from it all.

"Sometimes…" She started as her voice cracked again, "sometimes I think I would give it all up. The money, the clothes, everything, just for my mom to hug me or tell me that she's proud of me or that she loves me. Just something."

Chuck said nothing, silently agreeing. It was the same story with his dad. Didn't someone once say the opposite of love isn't hate, it's indifference?

"You shouldn't have to work this hard for love." She said as she polished off her drink.

* * *

Several hours and many drinks later, Chuck decided that they needed to leave Victrola and go back to reality.

A slightly tipsy Blair followed him once again to his limo.

Chuck contemplated what he should do. He didn't think it was the best idea to drop Blair off at her house. She was clearly drunk and still very much upset over her fight with her mother. Moreover, Chuck knew that if Eleanor realized how drunk Blair was, it would just lead to another fight between the two.

That left only one other option; he had to bring Blair back to his place.

Chuck had every intention of knocking on Serena's door and handing Blair to her before retiring to his own room to sleep, until he walked into the suite and realized just how late it was.

It was nearly three and Serena's door was barricaded shut, as she tended to do every night, in order to ensure her privacy from him. Ah, the irony of it all.

With that option extinguished, Chuck unsurely brought Blair up to his room. She clung to his arm as they ascended the stairs in order to keep from falling and in doing so, sent chills up his spine.

He tried to shake it off. She was smashed. She didn't know what she was doing. She would kill him in the morning.

He knew all this and yet as he closed his bedroom door securely and she moved ever closer to him, all he could think about was kissing her pouty, pink lips.

She kissed him. Leaned into his body and nearly knocked him over. He kissed her back, his tongue tasting her mouth and loving every minute of it.

But he knew it was wrong, so he pulled back.

And then she pulled back. In embarrassment or anger, he didn't know. The tears came again.

"Doesn't anybody want me?" She begged.

He was torn between reaching out to her and pulling her to him again and doing what he knew was right.

He sighed. Damn his conscience.

"Of course I want you, Blair." He said, knowing that she wouldn't remember this anyway.

"I want you so much it hurts. But I can't have you, not like this." He said and he touched her cheek.

She nodded and wiped away her tears.

She stumbled over to his bed and fell on top of it. He walked over to tuck her in and was about to find his way to the sofa in the living room when he heard her whisper his name.

He told himself not to turn back but when she said it again, he couldn't stop himself.

"Stay with me?" She asked softly and he nodded.

He climbed into the bed next to her, knowing full well that he would have hell to pay tomorrow when she woke up and hated him again. As she curled into him, he decided that it was worth it.

* * *

**Spotted: B and her mommy having a nasty fight in the infamous Waldorf penthouse. Apparently, Mommy was none too pleased with B after hearing about her break up with N. **

**Later, B and C stumbling out of Victrola, both obviously wasted. Is history repeating itself? Keep your fingers crossed. You know you love me. Xoxo, Gossip Girl.**

* * *

1) "Hope was an illusion, a diversion. Hope broke your heart every time." – Monk (TV Show)

2) "The opposite of love isn't hate, it's indifference." – Night (Book)

3) "You shouldn't have to work this hard for love." – Dirt (TV Show)


	10. Hate I Really Don't Like You

**AN: Sadly, I own nothing. **

* * *

**Chapter 10: Hate (I Really Don't Like You)**

It was mid Sunday morning, around 10:32 to be exact, and as per tradition, the van der Woodsens and Basses were enjoying a large spread of every breakfast item known to man.

Except, it wasn't exactly the same as it always was. Someone was missing. And it was that same someone that was causing Big Bart Bass to become more irritated by the second.

Chuck was nowhere to be found and although Serena would usually be pleased about this, she was kind of hoping that Chuck would magically appear. Because in his absence, everyone was feeling the tension that Bart was emitting, and it was quite painful.

Bart, however angry he may be, decided not to acknowledge his missing son and instead set his sights on bonding with his future stepchildren. He was failing miserably.

"Serena," Bart said sternly, causing Serena to flinch, "how is school going?"

"Umm, good. School is going good… I mean well." Serena corrected herself quickly. It was difficult to think clearly with Bart directing all of his attention at her and she was trying to respond without stuttering.

"Your mother has informed me that the SATs are quickly approaching. Have you been preparing for them?" Bart asked. "You know, that may be one of the most important exams of your life. It will help determine where you go to college and could potentially affect your career."

"Uh… yeah, umm, yes, I've been taking practice tests and Dan and I are reviewing together." Serena mumbled nervously.

"Very good." Bart said and turned to face Eric, who visibly shuddered.

"How has school been for you, Eric?" Bart questioned.

"Good. I'm really enjoying it. Chuck and I have been hanging out a lot… during lunch and all and it's been fun." Eric said, smiling at the thought of his future older brother.

However, he had inadvertently brought up the taboo subject that now hung heavily in the air.

"I'm surprised that Charles is still asleep." Lily stated matter-of-factly. "He's usually awake by now."

"Well he came in pretty late last night." Serena responded a bit angrily.

Because of Chuck, they were all being forced to converse awkwardly with Bart. And Bart had totally and completely freaked her out about the SATs. And it was all Chuck's fault!

"Besides, I'm pretty sure I heard a girl's voice coming from his room. We probably won't see him for hours." Serena added bitterly. The tension in the air grew at Serena's suggestive revelation.

Lily was quite appalled about what Serena was implying and who was listening to her implications. Eric, for one, did not need to be hearing about… those sort of things. And Bart… well it was unladylike for Serena to talk about such things in front of him.

Bart cleared his throat loudly and Lily took a long sip of her mimosa. Serena rolled her eyes. Why did adults always act like everything was perfect? It was slowly driving her insane.

"I don't think so." Eric said thoughtfully.

"What was that, dear?" Lily said, relieved that Eric was changing the subject.

"I don't think that Chuck would bring a girl home." Eric clarified his previous statement and Lily took another sip of her drink, as if Eric hadn't spoken.

"Why _wouldn't_ you believe it? He is Chuck Bass, isn't he?" Serena said. "No offense." Serena added looking in Bart's direction.

"Yes he's Chuck Bass but I _still_ don't think that he brought some girl home." Eric said confidently and if Serena wasn't mistaken, a bit angrily.

Chuck was his friend and he felt a little protective over him. To be honest, Serena's accusations were sort of getting to him.

And although Chuck never came out and told him that he had feelings for a certain fair-skinned brunette beauty some things didn't need to be said. Which is why Eric was about 97 percent sure that Chuck was alone.

"What makes you so sure?" Serena demanded.

"I just am." Eric retorted, getting a little fed up with his sister.

"Eric, I know he's your buddy and all," Serena said, her disgust evident, "but you don't know him like I do. And I can guarantee you that Chuck has some random girl up in his room. Probably a hooker." Serena amended.

By now, Serena and Eric were ignoring Bart and Lily, which was just as well because Bart and Lily were attempting to ignore Serena and Eric.

"Look, I know how Chuck used to be but he's changed." Eric insisted.

"He hasn't _changed_. Chuck Bass will _never_ change." Serena explained as if Eric was five.

"Believe me, he's changed. Have you seen him with any girls lately? No. Has he brought any girls home? No. He's changed." Eric said strongly.

"That doesn't me-" Serena started but Eric cut her off. "Look, he loves Blair okay? He's changed. And if you don't believe me, just look at him."

Serena paused for a moment to consider Eric's words, and then just as quickly, dismissed them. Chuck Bass didn't love anyone other than himself. She was sure of that if nothing else.

"Fine, if that's what you think then would you be willing to put, say a hundred dollars on it?" Serena asked.

She knew she would win. How could she _not_ win? Eric would learn a valuable lesson that she was always right and she would be a hundred dollars richer. Not that she needed the money or anything but it was the principle of the matter.

"Why not make it two hundred? Why not a thousand?" Eric said fiercely. His sister was being a little know-it-all and it was really rubbing him the wrong way.

"Let's make it a thousand then." Serena said and they shook on it.

* * *

Blair sleepily rolled into something soft and warm on her bed. She was quite comfortable and didn't want to get out of bed today, or ever.

She had a pounding headache that was sure to become a migraine within a few hours and she knew that if she stood up she might just throw up all over herself. It was safe to say that she was severely hung over.

But the question was how did she get that way? She could not for the life of her remember last night or the events of the day before.

Not that she was too concerned at the moment. All she wanted to do was snuggle under her covers the entire day. And thankfully, today was Sunday. Or was it Saturday? Either way, it was the weekend and that meant no school.

She lazily wrapped her arms around what could only be described as a giant moving pillow. She thought nothing of this and pulled the pillow closer to her body, reveling in the smell of it. It was quite delicious and somewhat familiar.

She decided that she simply adored the new laundry detergent that Dorota was using and would have to compliment her later that day. That is, if she ever got out of bed.

As Blair contemplated what could have possibly happened the day before- had she gone clubbing with S? - she heard a loud grunt that brought her out of her reverie.

Startled, Blair realized that the sound had been made by something extremely close to her. Specifically, something that she was clinging to at that very moment. And that's when she opened her eyes.

* * *

When he woke up, they were tangled together. Her legs were mixed with his and he was holding her tightly to his body. Her head was lying on his chest and his nose was buried in her hair. It was what heaven was like, he was sure of it.

He barely moved as he tried to determine if he had woken her up. He hadn't, thankfully.

He smiled a stupid, goofy, Nate-like smile and couldn't fathom why he had pushed her away before.

Oh yeah, she broke his heart. Finally he had admitted it to himself. Not that he hadn't already known that, but he was actually acknowledging it.

He wished they could stay like this and forget everything from the past. It would be perfect. They would be together and she wouldn't be ashamed of him like she had been before. And he… he would tell her, well he would tell her a lot of things.

He didn't know how long they stayed like that, her wrapped around him. He tried to stay as quiet as possible and move only when necessary in fear of waking her up. Because, despite what he wanted to happen, he knew Blair. Blair would not be forgetting the past anytime soon. So he decided to savor this feeling of happiness and butterflies and everything that he was supposed to hate because he was Chuck Bass.

When he felt her stir a little, he closed his eyes tightly, ready to feign sleep so she wouldn't catch him being all sappy, but then she didn't wake up. He breathed a sigh of relief.

When he felt her pull him closer to her, he thought he could die right then. Just die out of pure joy. For a moment he deluded himself into believing that she was awake and knew exactly what she was doing. Of course, when he snuck a peek at her, she was still half asleep.

He stared at her as she snuggled closer to him, noting all of her perfections. Perfect hair that always smelled so good and was silky soft. Perfect skin that was smooth and ivory and delicate and beautiful and untouched. Perfect nose that was just the right shape. Perfect chocolate eyes that could be as sweet as candy one moment and as black as night the next. Perfect lips. Lips that were rosy and pouty and were just so damn… perfect. All he wanted to do was kiss them.

She pulled him closer still and he couldn't help but let out a grunt as she unconsciously touched him… there.

He froze. He knew the gig was up. And sure enough, her eyes opened and began to adjust to the light.

* * *

Eric and Serena had been giving each other menacing looks as Lily tried to discuss the dancing lessons that they would all be partaking in prior to the wedding. Apparently, the wedding party would dance on the ballroom floor as everyone watched it awe. At least that's what Serena managed to digest as she glared at Eric in between taking a bite of a piece of cantaloupe.

Bart looked as if he wanted to say something, when they were all interrupted by a shrill shriek that caused one of the servants to drop the valuable bone china platter that she had been holding.

Lily was about to scold the poor maid, that plate was a family heirloom!, when more female screaming reached the breakfast table from somewhere upstairs.

Serena cleared her throat and gave Eric a look that not only said I-told-you-so but also said don't-you-ever-question-my-brilliance-again. She stabbed a piece of watermelon and popped it in her mouth enthusiastically.

"By the way, I accept cash or Jimmy Choos, size eleven." Serena gloated.

Eric was listening thoughtfully to the screaming from above, that had slowly dissolved, although stomping could still be heard.

"Don't count your chickens before they hatch, Serena." Eric smirked.

Serena gave him a look of pure and utter confusion. Had she just hallucinated the yelling or something?

"Is it just me, or did that voice sound oddly familiar?" Eric said with a smirk still in place.

Serena thought for a moment. The voice could have been one she had heard before. Maybe. But… no. It wasn't. It _so_ wasn't. It was absolutely, positively, definitely not. It couldn't be.

"No way." Serena muttered to herself. She shook her head 'no,' although her face was screwed up in thought.

She hadn't seen or heard from Blair since Friday when she brought Dan over. She had been a little preoccupied since then.

And Blair _had_ said that she and Chuck were going to see a play, but Serena had just assumed she was making that up to force her and Dan together. And _Les Mis_, the play that Blair and Chuck were supposedly seeing wasn't even being shown in New York.

Had Blair really gone out with Chuck? And if she had, why did she come back to his suite? She despised Chuck, didn't she? And if she had for some reason willingly gone back to Chuck's suite, why had she been screaming so loudly? That hadn't sounded like _that_ kind of screaming. And Serena knew that Chuck wouldn't ever take advantage of Blair… right?

"No." Serena said out loud. "He wouldn't."

As awful as Chuck was he wouldn't try that shit with Blair. They had sort of been together. Which was a first for Chuck. Chuck had even bought Blair a freaking diamond necklace, so he obviously cared about her.

"_Look, he loves Blair okay? He's changed. And if you don't believe me, just look at him."_

She had refused to believe Eric because she was positive that Chuck's heart was replaced by a black hole at age six, but maybe it wasn't. Maybe he _did_ have some kind of heart deep down. Deep, deep down.

Serena knew that even if Chuck didn't love Blair, he liked her at least. Liked her enough to buy her a necklace and to be with her more than once. Blair was definitely the first girl that Chuck ever did that for.

With another shake of her head, Serena decided that Chuck wouldn't try anything with Blair… without her consent of course.

Then why had Blair been yelling her head off not two minutes ago?

* * *

Blair's eyes adjusted to the blinding light coming from one of the many windows on the far side of the room. A room that was clearly not her own. But she decided to think about that at a later time. First things first, what the hell had made that offending noise?

Her eyes landed on the pillow she had been clutching which really wasn't a pillow at all. It was the form of a man. A man whom she hated and despised and loathed and every other synonym for hate that she could think of.

Chuck fucking Bass was staring at her. He looked quite frightened as he realized that Blair was no longer asleep. And he had every reason to look that way.

Blair gasped in surprise, as she finally understood why the pillow had seemed to be moving, and why it had smelled so good and then anger surged through her. She was in bed with Chuck Bass. Why? And why couldn't she remember anything?

She pushed him away with more force than someone her size should have, and leaped out of bed. He briefly closed his eyes. This was going to be painful.

"YOU SICK SON-OF-A-BITCH!" she yelled loudly and he winced.

"You're sick. You're fucking sick, you know that?" She demanded of him.

She yelled and ranted and stomped around his room and became more infuriated at his lack of reaction.

She grabbed the first thing she could find, a picture of him and Nate at a baseball game in third grade, and threw it against the wall. The glass cracked, and so did a piece of his heart.

"How dare you?" She repeated over and over again as she threw more of his possesions against the wall.

"You disgust me, Chuck! I don't know what I was thinking ever being with you! I must have has some sort of aneurysm or… or stroke or something!" Blair shouted as she threw something sharp at his head.

He got up slowly, his head throbbing a bit, and walked towards her.

"Get away from me!" She shrieked, and he was sure that everyone in the penthouse had heard her.

"Blair…" He muttered.

She had to know. She had to know that he would never do that to her.

"You sick fucking asshole. How dare you?" She screeched.

"I always knew you were a pig but I never thought that you would treat me like one of your whores!" She whispered viciously.

"Blair I didn't…" He trailed off, watching her stomp around his room, frantically grabbing her things.

"Have a nice life!" She yelled and threw his door open.

He went after her. He had to let her know that she would never be one of his whores. Without thinking he grabbed her arm as she neared the top of the stairs.

"Don't touch me!" She shouted. "Don't you fucking touch me!"

She pulled away from him and he followed her down the stairs.

He wasn't surprised to find his father and future stepmother and stepsiblings gawking at what they had overheard.

He stood motionless as Blair sprinted out of the penthouse, not even bothering to say hello to Serena. He was sure it was out of shame. He couldn't blame her. He wouldn't want to be seen with him either.

At the sound of the door banging shut, Bart stood up swiftly and glared at Chuck. Lily, Serena, and Eric remained paralyzed in shock.

"Charles." Bart barely whispered. His expression said it all.

"I didn't touch her." He mumbled and walked upstairs without sparing anyone else a glance.

"By the way, I accept cash or video games." Eric said smugly to Serena.

* * *

**Spotted: Or should I say heard. Her royal highness' shrieks were heard throughout Manhattan bright and early Sunday morning. And where did the offending noises originate, pray tell? Why The Palace, of course. What could have made B scream bloody murder at such an ungodly hour? I have a few theories but so far nothing has been confirmed. And as for C, what hath thou rout? You know you love me. Xoxo, Gossip Girl.**

* * *


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